Dr. APisms

My math professor is such a rad dude. He's Italian/Venezuelan and wears suits that look like they belong on an Indian rajah. However, by the far the best thing about him is that he is so damn quotable. You'd think a two-hour evening math class would be about as close to hell as you can get in this world, but with Dr. AP basically every other sentence is entertaining. The following are a selection of the best Dr. APisms to date. Keep in mind I've only been to one class. 

"I never look down on anybody unless I am looking down to help them rise up."

"I'm going to do my own thing- listen to the beat of my own drums."

"Sugar is POISON."

"I don't eat donuts. They'll KILL you."

"My notes are an extension of my book. My book is an extension of me."

"The problems are so hard they can break your knees."

"Financial mathematics is so hard it will break your....knees!"

"I can't offer you booze because it's illegal."

"Get a blood-orange scantron. Just don't bleed on it."

"Oh, that's me in Paris."

"A few years ago I cremated all my high school and college notes."

"I need 1 staple per homework packet- not five. Otherwise, my fingers will get punctured by the staples and I'll need to get another manicure."

"We're married to each other. We're legit."

"I have friends in law enforcement, so I borrowed a flame thrower."

"I'm a fencer. I fence. I use a sword. It's my weapon of choice."

"You do all the choreographed stuff and it looks nice, like the Matrix or something."

"Math is abstract, but you need to not be afraid of it, because you have me."

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes as long as it's legal. I have friends in Law Enforcement so I have to behave."

"If you have problems, who are you gonna ask? Not the Ghostbusters. Me. I am the Ghostbusters."

"A dog cannot speak. Not even in French."

Stay tuned for more Dr. APisms. May there be many more.